I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since. ~Arturo Toscanini
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times. ~Mark Twain, attributed
I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: "Oh well," and I went back to smoking again, and that was better. ~Benny Hill
One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying. ~Author Unknown
There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that. ~Harold Robbins
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen
Thank you for Not Smoking. Cigarette smoke is the residue of your pleasure. It contaminates the air, pollutes my hair and clothes, not to mention my lungs. This takes place without my consent. I have a pleasure, also. I like a beer now and then. The residue of my pleasure is urine. Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair and pissed on your head and your clothes without your consent? ~Sign from Ken's Magic Shop
If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. ~Douglas Adams
It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. ~Mark Twain
If you must smoke, take your butt outside. ~Author Unknown
Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world. ~Irish Proverb
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